Crossed Fingers, Arizona (still!), Medical Exams

Donald is still in Arizona.

Being apart doesn't technically make the process more difficult, but it does have the ability to make things seem that way.

We're still not sure exactly when he'll be home. The Army can be counted on for many great things, but punctuality is not among them. I keep reminding myself that he'll be back, and that this is not permanent. Still, not having a date makes the certainty of his return seem... uncertain, I suppose. I like solid dates (even if they turn out to be inaccurate), because they give my wandering imagination somewhere to go. So along with my husband's impending return, I also find myself constantly wondering when our SDA appointment will be. Will I need to pack a winter coat, or shorts and sunscreen? Never mind that the soonest I'll need to begin packing is January - by golly I want to start THINKING about what I WILL pack. It's not crazy, it's efficient, completely reasonable, and perfectly normal of me.

I like planning. It relaxes me.

Don't judge.

We've already sent all our documents in for the home study... well, everything except for our medical exams. I've been putting if off until Donald comes home, so we can both go at the same time. We're hoping that our home study provider will begin writing everything up in the mean time, completing what he can so that when he finally does receive the last piece, he'll be able to wrap it up within days. On average, his turnaround is 3-ish weeks, so we're crossing our fingers and toes that those 3 weeks began with everything else being submitted, and not from the day we get the last form to him.

Home Study Progress

Well, Donald is still in Arizona. We're not sure when he'll be back, but our best guess is in 2-ish weeks from now.

As of today, everything for the home study has been submitted except for our physicals. We'll be getting them as soon as Donald returns. Turnaround on the home study, we've been told, is roughly one month. Assuming that he starts on the process tomorrow (and then wraps it up within a week of receiving our physicals), the home study should be ready to go by early September.

It's now time to get in contact with our facilitator to find out what steps need to be taken to get our documents translated, and how long that will take.

Home Study Stuff

I have paperwork sitting in front of me that needs to be finished. We are ALMOST done with the home study. Just a few more forms and we're DONE. What's left is nothing too overwhelming for the normal person, but I look at it and feel like imploding. Even the smallest thing right now feels like too much.

It won't take that long, and every moment I wait to finish it is a moment longer that Little Winn waits for us.

So why is it not done already...?!?

The human mind (okay, my mind) baffles me.

The home study process is so intrusive and emotionally draining. On a reasonable level I understand it all. It's there for a purpose, and I'm grateful that they screen parents so thoroughly. But still, it can become bothersome. Do they really need to know, in detail, what my biggest disappointment in life was? Or how often we have "relations"?

I just want to stick my head in the sand.

They're not asking that much from me, but I'm a sensitive (and slightly lazy...) soul, I guess. I just get overwhelmed so easily, and I'm definitely there right now.

First Homestudy Visit Soon!

Good news, everyone! Donald is finally home (for a couple weeks anyway... and then he has to leave again for a few MORE weeks before he's permanently home again).

He flew in the other night, and the next day we emailed our homestudy social worker... and he was able to fit us in for a visit THIS TUESDAY!

YAY!

Military Hiccup

There was a slight military-related hiccup during the last few weeks. We received word that we might be re-stationed, so everything was paused. It was sudden, and very unexpected. There we hung for a couple weeks, feeling helpless. Paperwork sat there in front of me, unable to be turned in for fear we'd be moving (to continue on with the homestudy in hopes of staying would have meant wasting a couple thousand bucks if we ended up moving, so there was definitely no room for such optimism).

All is well that ends well, though. We're not moving, and now my head is pounding just looking at all this paperwork. Admittedly, my savage sinus infection might be contributing to that. It's been killing me for several weeks now, but I've had zero time to get into the doctor. The quarter(school) ends next week though, at which point I'll have ample free time to get some antibiotics (oh, AND get my medical exam for the home study), yay!!

An Indescribable Love

Today I just want our Little Winn to be home.

I know, I know... I'm trying hard not to sound sappy and ridiculous. I haven't even met the kid. I don't even know if it's a he or she, or whether (s)he is already in preschool, or was just born. To emotionally complicate things further, we won't know until we arrive in Ukraine... which is nearly a year away.

When I'm not busy working or doing homework, I think of our Little Winn. Is (s)he in a state-run orphanage, or "fortunate" enough to be in a privately operated Christian facility? Is (s)he being held enough... or at all? Are kind words being spoken to him/her? Has (s)he had enough to eat? If (s)he's old enough to understand the situation, does (s)he have hope that we'll be there soon? However insufficiently, is (s)he being shown love by someone? Anyone?

The concept of loving a soon-to-be-adopted child has always made sense to me. Having known others who've adopted internationally, I've seen that engulfing love that overcomes them when they look at their baby's picture.

We, however, do not have a picture. All we have is an answered prayer. I definitely underestimated the frustration, longing, and love that would immediately result after receiving an answer to those prayers. The moment I felt our Heavenly Father had given His blessing on a Ukrainian adoption, a formerly unknown Slavic child suddenly became our child.

...and it's crazy how such a thing can change a person as much as it has.

So how can I explain the love I have for Little Winn before I know a single thing about him/her? To even consider elaborating makes me feel like an emotional nutcase.

...and so I won't.

I love our Little Winn already, I can't explain it, and I'm certainly not gunna fight it.

Shopping Complications

However trivial it may be, one of the most difficult aspects of Ukrainian adoption is that you don't specifically know the age or gender of the child until you arrive in country (at which point you are presented with several profiles of potential matches, much like you would normally do prior to traveling, with other countries). It's not like we don't have a say in things, but between the Ukrainian system and God's will... we could come home with just about anything, haha!

All we know is that Little Winn will be somewhere between 12 months and 5 years old.

So... pacifiers or preschool? Time will only tell! We'll be thrilled with either, but my obsessive compulsive planning/online-shopping has become a bit more complicated lately.

Thus far, these are the only safe purchases I've decided on, as they will be appropriate for any child in our age category.

1. A Britax Boulevard car seat (or seat with similar capabilities and features).

I've already decided to keep my kids rear-facing for as long as possible. It's far safer, and I'm cool with swimming against the cultural stream on this issue. The seat rear-faces to 35 pounds, so a 1-3ish year old would be well protected. It can then be used forward-facing, with 5 point restraints, to 65 pounds. As I also plan to keep my kids "locked down" in 5-points longer than most, a seat like this will work for any child in the age range we've applied for.

2. Toddler Bed. I googled crib mattress measurements. I also consulted a CDC growth chart. Any normal 1-5 year old will fit in one nicely. I know, I'm obsessive. I have extra time on my hands with Donald still deployed... so go easy on the judging ;-) . If we get a squirmy 1 year old, we'll pick up a pack n play. We also have a twin bed in the craft room, so if Little Winn turns out to be a gargantuan kindergartner, we're equally set.

The inability to fulfill my insatiable shopping-itch is a good thing. It forces me to keep things simple, and to keep pinching those precious pennies.

...because seriously, when Little Winn gets here, we're going to the mall, and staying until they kick us out. That requires lots of pinched pennies, I'll tell you what.