TriCare... oh, Tricare...

The military employs some of the greatest doctors and nurses on earth. I'm so grateful for the healthcare provided to me because of my husband's job.

Having said that, I have never had a single positive experience making appointments or getting referrals. Trying to get a simple physical for the adoption (our home study has been otherwise complete for going on 2 months now) has been quite the challenge.

Thursday, September 9th:

We waited a LONG TIME for my appointment on September 9th. I went to said visit, and the doctor was wonderful. She ordered all the appropriate labs and told me to come back the following week and she would do a papsmear (I hate typing that out loud, but it's crucial to plot development). For a brief moment, I think how smoothly everything is going, but quickly decide to distract myself with other thoughts for fear of jinxing things.

Whoops. Too late.

I go to make a follow-up appointment across the hall, at which point I'm told that I can't make another appointment with her. You see, the appointment I just had was in the Red Team clinic... and I don't "belong" to Red Team. Internal Medicine is my assigned clinic, and that's where I have to go.

Hurray for socialized medicine!

But it gets better. They all but accuse me of having hacked into their computer system or of using my voodoo mind powers to have made the initial Red Team appointment. "Well you clearly don't belong to Red Team, so how you even made that first appointment is questionable."

Like WTF?!?

I called the appointment line. I gave them my information and said I needed a physical for an adoption. I'm sneaky and manipulative like that, I know!

I temporarily gave up, and went to get my blood drawn before the lab closed.

This was Thursday.

I go home, but by the time I'm home the appointment line is closed.

Friday, September 10th:

After getting off work that afternoon, I called Tricare to make an appointment with Internal Medicine... for September 20th. Compared to how long I waited last time, this is fast. Foolishly, I got optimistic and reassured myself that "I already have all my labs done, so I can get everything completed at this appointment and I'll be done."

...or not.

The TriCare appointment people then specifically tell me my primary doctor can NOT do a papsmear for me, under any circumstances (it has been 4 years since my last, so it was required for the physical). Their first available appointment? OCTOBER 20TH. At this point I give up on being nice, and tell them NO-freakin-WAY.

NOPE.

NOT ACCEPTABLE.

"FIX THIS!"

After much complaining, they manage to find me a sooner appointment with the OBGYN clinic for... October 18th. Because that's so much better.

At this point I start crying for about 3 seconds. That's all I had time for. I got over it, and put my game face back on.

And I flipped out more. It tends to do the trick with TriCare.

I'm eventually told that once I year I can do a self-referral off-post for a well-woman exam. SUCESS!

At this point it's 5pm, and the civilian doctors offices are closed.

Monday, September 13th:

I go to Fort Lewis (All these clinics are located in Madigan Hospital/Medical Center) to get my TB test (a 50 minute drive from work, 1 hour in-clinic, and then a 30 minute drive home.)

Finally, I'm home.

I call the tri-care approved doctors to set up an appointment. Everyone has appointments for the following week (roughly two weeks from my initial doctor's appointment). A reasonable timeline... except that I was due to start my... er, "monthly" THIS weekend. So it was the week of the 13th or else I'd have to wait until at LEAST September 24th... after my appointment for the physical (where everything needs to be signed off at).

The civilian doctors have ONE available appointment for the next day, the 14th, at 11:15am... when I'm at work. I call around to find a co-worker who can cover for me. NOBODY can.

Ultimately, I decide that ensuring this physical doesn't get pushed out by another 6ish weeks is WORTH the risk of getting fired. I take the appointment, and tell work that I won't be in the next day. They took it well.

Tuesday, September 14th:

Went to the Gyno. Got my lady tests done.

Today, September 15th:

After work, I'll be driving back to Madigan (on Fort Lewis) to get my TB test read.

I'm no medical professional, but I feel no bump. I think I'm clean.

Hopefully this will all be over on the 20th! (Which I also do NOT have coverage at work for... we'll see how that works out.)

The good news?

I picked up paint samples last week for Little Winn's room. WHICH room (s)he gets is still up for debate though, haha. I'll save that for a later post though. :-)

I Don't Need No Stinkin' Stretchmarks

Some days this adoption doesn't feel real.

Unlike most mothers, my belly isn't growing. There are no flutters, kicks, or (thankfully) bouts of morning sickness. While other moms are experiencing constant physical reminders of the joy forming in their tummies, I have pieces of paper.

...and lemme tell ya, filling out ridiculous forms is nowhere near as fun as maternity shopping.

Sometimes, fear gets the better of me. My fears are similar to what a lot of pregnant moms experience though, I'm sure.

"What if something happens?"
What if the Ukrainian judge takes one look at Donald's tattoos, and deems us unfit parents? What if my youthful face (at 24, strangers are shocked that I'm over 20) works against my favor, and the court decides I seem too young and immature to bring home a 4 year old we've fallen in love with?

"...is this actually happening?"

We fill out paperwork, and wait... but paper has no heartbeat. Paper is nothing to hold on to... and if I can't see something, it just isn't real to me.

"Am I ready?"

And other days, I wonder if I'm setting myself up for failure, and worry that I'm going to be the world's worst mother.

In the last few years, few things have been more unpleasant than finding out a friend or relative (especially those much younger and/or un-expecting/unprepared than myself) were pregnant (or, less frequently, completing an adoption). I knew that one day our time would come, and that we'd be parents. I had faith that God's plan for our family would, at some point, unfold beautifully.

It still hurt though - every time.

But now, there are days like today.

Days when I find out another friend is expecting... and I am purely full of joy and excitement for them. No jealousy, no fist-shaking at the heavens, no awkward silences or tearful prayers.

Nothing but happiness.

Because we're on the road to Little Winn... and (s)he is as real as if (s)he were in my belly... except that I might just get out of this without stretch-marks.

...total bonus!

Physicals

Donald has been home (back from his deployment and a LONG wait in Arizona) for a few weeks, and as of last week we are fully in-processed into Fort Lewis. I am now officially enrolled in TRI-care West Prime (our local region of the military's health insurance). We've been waiting on this for some time now, so today (the first day I was able to) I called and made a doctor's appointment for my physical.

Their first available appointment? September 9th. Not ideal, but things could be worse.

In so many ways, his job has made this a far longer and difficult process than I'd like, but when I find myself becoming frustrated I count my blessings. The Army, however much it complicates our lives, provides a steady income and various forms of support to its adopting families.

...and for that, I am grateful!

Crossed Fingers, Arizona (still!), Medical Exams

Donald is still in Arizona.

Being apart doesn't technically make the process more difficult, but it does have the ability to make things seem that way.

We're still not sure exactly when he'll be home. The Army can be counted on for many great things, but punctuality is not among them. I keep reminding myself that he'll be back, and that this is not permanent. Still, not having a date makes the certainty of his return seem... uncertain, I suppose. I like solid dates (even if they turn out to be inaccurate), because they give my wandering imagination somewhere to go. So along with my husband's impending return, I also find myself constantly wondering when our SDA appointment will be. Will I need to pack a winter coat, or shorts and sunscreen? Never mind that the soonest I'll need to begin packing is January - by golly I want to start THINKING about what I WILL pack. It's not crazy, it's efficient, completely reasonable, and perfectly normal of me.

I like planning. It relaxes me.

Don't judge.

We've already sent all our documents in for the home study... well, everything except for our medical exams. I've been putting if off until Donald comes home, so we can both go at the same time. We're hoping that our home study provider will begin writing everything up in the mean time, completing what he can so that when he finally does receive the last piece, he'll be able to wrap it up within days. On average, his turnaround is 3-ish weeks, so we're crossing our fingers and toes that those 3 weeks began with everything else being submitted, and not from the day we get the last form to him.

Home Study Progress

Well, Donald is still in Arizona. We're not sure when he'll be back, but our best guess is in 2-ish weeks from now.

As of today, everything for the home study has been submitted except for our physicals. We'll be getting them as soon as Donald returns. Turnaround on the home study, we've been told, is roughly one month. Assuming that he starts on the process tomorrow (and then wraps it up within a week of receiving our physicals), the home study should be ready to go by early September.

It's now time to get in contact with our facilitator to find out what steps need to be taken to get our documents translated, and how long that will take.

Home Study Stuff

I have paperwork sitting in front of me that needs to be finished. We are ALMOST done with the home study. Just a few more forms and we're DONE. What's left is nothing too overwhelming for the normal person, but I look at it and feel like imploding. Even the smallest thing right now feels like too much.

It won't take that long, and every moment I wait to finish it is a moment longer that Little Winn waits for us.

So why is it not done already...?!?

The human mind (okay, my mind) baffles me.

The home study process is so intrusive and emotionally draining. On a reasonable level I understand it all. It's there for a purpose, and I'm grateful that they screen parents so thoroughly. But still, it can become bothersome. Do they really need to know, in detail, what my biggest disappointment in life was? Or how often we have "relations"?

I just want to stick my head in the sand.

They're not asking that much from me, but I'm a sensitive (and slightly lazy...) soul, I guess. I just get overwhelmed so easily, and I'm definitely there right now.

First Homestudy Visit Soon!

Good news, everyone! Donald is finally home (for a couple weeks anyway... and then he has to leave again for a few MORE weeks before he's permanently home again).

He flew in the other night, and the next day we emailed our homestudy social worker... and he was able to fit us in for a visit THIS TUESDAY!

YAY!